When your friend tells you she’s pregnant, what do you do?
Maybe she texted you last night or quietly told you while hanging out. Likely, she is confused and worried about her future. You want to support her, but you’re not sure what to say or do next.
Finding out you are unexpectedly pregnant is difficult, complicated, and traumatic. And you want her to do the right thing.
Simply, the best thing you can do is be there for her, be supportive, and provide a listening ear.
Be sure that you are in a place where you can give your friend your full attention. If you can’t stop what you’re doing, let your friend know you want to listen and ask for a time that you can do that.
She is turning to you with major, life-changing news and that means your input matters. Be attentive and ask questions that will give her a chance to express what she feels and thinks.
Don’t Interrupt or Judge Her
It’s easy to respond with stories you’ve heard of someone else’s crisis situation or with what you would do if you were in her situation.
This is not the time to say things like, “I told you so,” or “Babies are so cute. You’ll be fine!” Or, “I could never give my baby up for adoption. Who does that?”
An unintended pregnancy can raise a number of difficult questions that you just don’t have answers for. Instead of changing the subject, or judging her, put your emotions in check as you focus in on what your friend is saying. If she asks for your thoughts, agree with her as much as you can and if you disagree, communicate that gently.
Your friend will need to decide what she wants to do about her pregnancy; it’s her decision. Just ask her what you can do to help and try to stay positive. Help her locate resources as she prepares for the future.
Let her know that she can talk to someone at Pregnancy Resource Center. We can confirm the pregnancy through a pregnancy test and and ultrasound to let her know how far along she might be. We’ll also discuss all of her options and provide a range of resources, from healthcare to housing, as she decides what her next steps are. All of our services are free.
If she has already confirmed the pregnancy, our trained client advocates can provide accurate answers to her questions and address her needs and concerns. You can also come to the appointment with her, so that she has the support she needs.
As your friend navigates a difficult pregnancy decision, you can love her well by listening, asking questions, holding your opinions and helping her find the resources she needs.